Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Retreat Countdown: 21 Days

Saw the doctor this afternoon about my knee. Frankly, it was a waste of my time.  Yes, I know my knee will bend, but it hurts here and here when you press on the sides of my knee.  Also, I have had a lifetime of experienced with my right knee slipping out of joint, so I am extremely familiar with how it feels when a joint is slipping and that's how the left knee feels!

Instead, he just told me it was swollen and not to sit with my legs bent or crossed.  Um, yeah.  Already knew THAT and already not doing THAT but after two weeks of being swollen and not doing THAT, just MAYBE someone should examine it?

For that, he spent how many years in medical school?

I kept trying to describe the symptoms to him and didn't even finish before he pronounced my knee swollen.  Um, yeah.  But the million dollar question is..... why?

All he did was straighten my leg and bend it.  Okay, so we've proven that works, but that's not the issue.  The issue is the standing up straight and walking on it part.  The sharp, shooting pain that randomly pierces my knee cap when I walk.  Or the way when I don't walk carefully and I lift my foot that my left knee feels as if it's slipping out of joint.

Once I realized he was in too big of a hurry to leave the room than to listen to what I had to say, I resigned myself to seeing the specialist (which is what I should have just gone ahead and done) AND finding a new family doctor.

It's now less than three weeks until the retreat, so my chances of seeing a specialist and doing any kind of real recovery before the retreat are zero.

I am disappointed that I may have to spend the retreat sitting in a chair.  I'm seriously, hugely disappointed.  (Yes, hugely, really is a word.  It's an adverb, to be exact.  My second favorite web site (next to Amazon.com)  http://www.m-w.com/ says so!)

Because of my knee, my morning routine has been disrupted and I have not been meditating every day like I was.  Faithfully.  This is a good lesson for me in accepting what is without judgement.

Instead, I should just focus on my appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity to participate in this retreat.  Appreciation for co-workers and a company which allows me to take 2-1/2 weeks off from work to pursue my craziness

Gratitude for a husband who encourages me to go without him when we finally determine it is best if someone stays home.  I love you.

For S.N. Goenke who sought, learned, and now shares this practice with others, thank you.

On the weather front, I have been comparing temps between Orlando and Jesup, GA for a few weeks now.  Running average appears to be about a 10 degree variance.  Not too bad.  I'm expecting lows in the 30s and highs in the 60s.  I told Troy we need to go shopping for clothes.  He told me no.  I told him I at least want to get some long johns!!

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