Friday, January 15, 2010

Retreat Countdown: Day 39

Note:  I will be posting future blogs with the heading, "Retreat Countdown".  These will be status updates as I prepare for the retreat next month.  Follow along as I continue building upon my current practice and what I learn along the way.

This morning's meditation went really well.  I was a little ahead of schedule, so I extended from my daily 15-minutes to 20.  I've been reaching a state during the past few days, where I know if I could sit for longer I could go deeper.  This is exciting when you consider the possibilities of 10-days of meditation!  The things I may learn! 

Morning is always the best meditation time for me.  It is quiet and peaceful in the morning.  I am very routine driven, so each morning I am the first to rise (okay, most of the time) so the house is especially quiet.  Well, except for Groucho whining because he wants his breakfast and he wants it now!  I brush my teeth, take my shower, put on my make up, and then, I sit.  We leave our iPod connected to the stereo and it plays all day  (the cats seem to like it) and we sleep to it at night.  It's filled with meditative and relaxation music.  When I sit for my meditation, the music is always playing very softly in the background.

This morning, I lost all awareness of the music or my surroundings.  I was so deeply aware of my body that nothing else existed and yet I was everything.  I spent the entire meditation going from relaxing my body to the breath to thinking and back to the breath and then the body until the thinking starts again and the whole cycle repeats.  Over and over and over again.

Those who know me, know when I finally put my mind to something I can and WILL do it.  It was encouraging this morning when the timer went off and I was still going between breath, body, and thinking.  Of course, that's not my goal.  My goal is to eventually observe my thoughts only and not engage them.  I am getting glimpses of that throughout my meditations now, but I am still spending most of the meditation in disengaging from my thoughts.

What encouraged me this morning is seeing evidence of my persistence.  It is a HUGE meditation confidence builder and helps me feel a little less apprehensive about next month's challenge.

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